What Your Sadness and Seasonal Depression Want You to Know

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.

As the days grow shorter and the air turns crisp, do you feel an inexplicable heaviness settling in? If so, you’re not alone. In my therapy room, conversations around Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) are naturally coming up, along with many fears around feeling too deeply. Many of us notice emotional shifts as the seasons change, and with that comes the challenge of sitting with these feelings.

It's touching to witness the human spirit’s hesitation to embrace emotion, even though our ability to feel deeply is at the core of who we are. We’ve been conditioned by a society, shaped by systems like imperialist white supremacist heteropatriarchy, to value intellect over emotion. We often avoid feeling because it can be painful and uncomfortable. Yet, I believe it’s our radiant heart and spirit, not just our mind, that make us human. Our emotions connect us to ourselves and each other in ways that logic cannot.

What if we embraced our feelings instead? To feel deeply, to allow our hearts to burst open—isn’t that the essence of being human? Especially as the season shifts and SAD becomes a frequent topic of conversation, it’s important to remember that our emotions carry vital messages.

In this post, I’ll explore the nature of clinical depression, what sadness might be trying to tell us, and strategies for coping with SAD. Through my experience as a therapist, I’ve seen how embracing our emotions, rather than avoiding them, leads to profound personal growth and healing.

So, as we move through this season, here’s a gentle reminder: Your feelings have something important to share with you.

Let’s start by understanding what clinical depression really means and how it differs from occasional sadness...

What is Clinical Depression?

It’s normal to experience sadness, to feel “blue” or “down.” That’s part of being human. However, clinical depression goes beyond occasional sadness. It involves a cluster of symptoms that persist for a specific period and significantly impact daily functioning.

Clinical depression, a common mood disorder, can affect many areas of life, including work, school, and relationships. Symptoms may include feelings of sadness, hopelessness, loneliness, fatigue, loss of motivation, disinterest in activities that once brought pleasure, anger, irritability, negative thoughts, physical discomfort, and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide. There are various forms of clinical depression, such as major depression, persistent depressive disorder, perinatal depression, and seasonal affective disorder.

The severity of depression is unique to each individual. For some, it can start to interfere with daily life, which is often when people seek therapy. But therapy doesn’t require severity; it’s beneficial at any stage because depression can impact emotional well-being in subtle yet significant ways.

A former supervisor once defined depression to me as a "real or symbolic loss," a definition that has always resonated with me. In therapy, we explore these losses—real or symbolic—and try to understand their role in the depressive experience. Many people struggle to make space for sadness, and that’s where I challenge clients to dig deeper into how they acknowledge and approach their feelings. I encourage them to feel, validate, and understand their sadness, which brings me to my next point.

While understanding clinical depression is crucial, it's equally important to explore our relationship with sadness in general. By learning to listen to and interpret our emotions, including sadness, we can better navigate both everyday blues and more serious depressive states. Let's delve into what your sadness might be trying to tell you.

What Your Sadness Wants You to Know

An analogy I often use (thanks to my colleague Danny Nava) to help people understand and approach their emotions differently goes like this:

Emotions are like dashboard lights on your car. They don’t need to be labeled as “good or bad”; they’re simply information. Imagine this: You’re driving, and your gas light turns on. What do you do? You drive to the gas station. You don’t assume something is fundamentally wrong with your car or your driving, nor do you start rethinking your entire life. You just go to the gas station. 

Dashboard lights, like your feelings, are designed to be uncomfortable because they alert you to something important. They’re signaling a need that requires your attention and consideration.

Sometimes, it’s about not valuing those lights (your feelings) or lacking the knowledge and awareness of what to do (like not knowing where the gas stations are). But just as those lights help you maintain your car, your feelings guide you to live a more balanced and meaningful life. They carry deep value. They care for you. Why not try caring for them too? 

So, what does your sadness tell you? What is it trying to communicate? Many people just want a “fix,” something to make it all go away—and I understand that. It’s much easier to sit with joy than with sadness. But remember, one cannot exist without the other. 

Sadness often points us toward something that hurts, an emotional wound. That wound may be ancient or recent. Ask yourself: What does my sadness need? Human connection? Rest? A release through tears? A cuddle with my pet? To be expressed, seen, heard, and validated? What if we responded to our feelings the way we respond to the dashboard lights in our cars? How might that change things?

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Winter is Coming

Even though we still have a couple weeks of summer left, people are starting to prepare for the upcoming seasonal changes. Folks are concerned, knowing how the upcoming season can affect their mental and emotional well-being. 

To address these concerns proactively, it’s crucial to develop a comprehensive strategy. Here are key elements to include in your coping ahead plan:

• Regular light exposure (natural sunlight or light therapy boxes)

• Consistent exercise routine

• Scheduled social connections

• Adjust daily routines to accommodate reduced energy levels

• Set realistic goals

I also like to reframe these seasons as natural periods of rest. Just as other mammals and plants experience ebbs and flows, it’s natural for us to pull back on activity during the darker, colder months. Embracing a quieter, more reflective period doesn’t mean neglecting self-care; it’s about reassessing expectations and allowing yourself to function differently. We can be hard on ourselves during these months, expecting the same level of energy as we have in the bright, warmer days of summer. But it's more realistic to honor the changing season and give ourselves permission to slow down.

Remember, it's okay to slow down, but try to maintain a balance between rest and engagement. By implementing these strategies and remaining attentive to your needs, you can navigate the winter months with greater resilience and emotional well-being, honoring both your need for rest and your ongoing mental health. 

While it's common to experience some mood changes with the seasons, persistent or severe symptoms that significantly impact your daily life may indicate Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). If you're concerned about the intensity or duration of your symptoms, it's important to consult with a mental health professional for proper assessment and support.

As we've explored the complexities of clinical depression, everyday sadness, and seasonal changes, it becomes clear that our emotions play a crucial role in our overall well-being. With this in mind, let's reflect on how we can approach our emotional experiences more mindfully.

Closing Thoughts

Understanding and addressing sadness and clinical depression requires acknowledging the deep connection between our emotions and overall well-being. Whether dealing with ongoing sadness, seasonal depression, or the emotional wounds life brings, it’s crucial to see our emotions as guides rather than burdens. Just as dashboard lights signal a need for care and attention in our cars, our emotions carry valuable information about what we need. 

Remember, your emotions - even the difficult ones - are not your enemies. They are messengers, guiding you towards healing and growth. As you navigate your emotional landscape, be it through the changing seasons or life's unpredictable journey, treat yourself with the same compassion you'd offer a dear friend. Your path to emotional well-being begins with listening to what your sadness wants you to know. Are you ready to listen?

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It’s been awhile since I’ve concluded with a poem. Here’s one of my favorites, by one of the greatest poets, Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor. 

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture, 

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice. 

meet them at the door laughing and 

invite them in. 

Be grateful for whatever comes.

Because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.