6 Steps to Finding a Therapist

Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

Welcome! Today I’d like to focus on explaining the process of finding a therapist. This is probably in the Top 3 questions I receive from people. Folks are often confused about the process of finding a therapist and I had someone mention to me recently that they had zero clue as to how the heck they could even get started with this process. I don’t blame you. It’s not easy and unfortunately there are a few barriers you’ll have to navigate, but once you do it, you’ll get the hang of it.

Step 1: Think about why you’re seeking therapy

Okay, this part’s fairly easy, and if you’re thinking about reaching out to a professional you’ve probably already completed this step. Once you reach out for a consultation, which is Step 5, having a bullet point list of the things you’d like to address in therapy will come in handy. So think about it, what’s bringing you in? Why now? Are you having a tough time managing work stress? Maybe you are looking to learn more about yourself? Do you want to learn coping skills for managing anxiety? There are so many valids reasons why one may want to seek professional help from a therapist.

Step 2: Think about what you’re looking for in therapy or in a therapist

It’s okay to have opinions and expectations about what you’re looking for in therapy or in a therapist. Most expectations are valid though there are some unrealistic expectations some people have about therapy (cue reminder: Therapy is not a magic pill, unfortunately). So, maybe you want someone who’s going to be real with you, or maybe it’s important you feel safe with them, or you’re looking for someone to simply help you sort out your feelings and thoughts. Generally, I find that people come to therapy because they want to feel better or cope in healthier ways. They usually want an unbiased professional who can help guide them through their issues and concerns. Regardless of your expectations, be sure to have an idea in mind, and this will make more sense once you consult with a therapist and fully engage in the therapeutic process.

Step 3: Going through your insurance

If you want to find a private pay therapist, skip to Step 4 instead.

Now we’re getting into the good stuff. Oftentimes, people will choose to use their insurance benefits because there’s typically a small copay involved. However, sometimes people come across a therapist they really like and then realize the therapist only accepts private pay and doesn’t take insurance. So, let’s walk through this together.

First things first, if you’re looking to go through your insurance provider, whether it’s HMO or PPO, call them. I know! Most people dread having to do this, I do too! Health insurance in the United States makes everything so freaking complicated. However, it’s important to understand your benefits and coverage so you feel confident and well-informed before reaching out to anyone. Typically, insurances have a specific number you can call for mental health benefits usually titled “Behavioral Health” or something similar, and it may be listed on your insurance card or you can find it in your insurance provider’s website. Okay, you found the number. Now what? You want to ask your insurance provider about your in-network and out-of-network benefits like 1. Do I have mental health benefits? 2. How many sessions do I have and is there a limit? 3. What’s the copay for in-network providers? 4. What are the steps for reimbursement for out-of-network providers? 5. Do I have a deductible? You’ll also want to ask how to contact in-network providers. For example, you might be able to use your insurance app to search your area or they may be able to email you a list of in-network providers near your city.

FYI, you may be asked for the CPT code in order to verify the reimbursement rate. The CPT code for 50 minute individual therapy sessions is 90834 and the CPT code for 60 minute individual therapy sessions is 90837.

Step 4: Finding a private pay therapist (like me!)

Sometimes people don’t want to go through their insurance for a variety of reasons. Maybe they found a therapist they really like and that therapist only accepts private pay. Sometimes insurances don’t cover mental health sessions if there isn’t “medical necessity,” which means you’d have to meet criteria for a mental health diagnosis and maybe you do, but many people who come to therapy may not. Maybe it’s an issue of privacy and you don’t want your insurance to be privy to your mental health records. Whatever your reasons, if you’d like to take this route you have a few options. 

First, if you feel comfortable doing so, you can ask people you know if they have any referrals for therapists. As one of the few therapists in my community, I often get asked by friends/family if I have any referrals, and I’m happy to share with them. Also, you’d be surprised at the number of people who’ve gone to therapy so it’s likely someone you know can provide a really great referral. Or, there are online directories for therapists that we use to market our services. Here are a few popular ones: Psychology Today, Therapy Den, Latinx Therapy, Inclusive Therapists, and many more. Once you choose an online directory, you’ll be able to search your area by city or zip code and use other helpful filters (issues, speciality, cost, etc.) to narrow down your search results.

An important note: Whether you go through your insurance or an online directory, be sure to make a list of therapists that you’re interested in calling for a consultation. You’ll need a list, because it’s possible the therapist you reach out to isn’t accepting new clients or you may not even hear back from them at all.

A side note: I won’t go into it here and I’d encourage folks to do their own research, but there are lots of concerns therapists share about platforms such as TalkSpace and BetterHelp. If you’d like to learn more about some of these concerns, here’s a 40-min episode podcast where the Therapy Den founder discusses his concerns about the way these platforms engage in meta data mining: Therapy Reimagined Podcast.

Step 5: Scheduling a consultation

Remember when I mentioned it’s important to reflect on the reasons you’re seeking therapy and your expectations? Here’s why. Once you’ve gathered a list, you’ll want to start calling and shooting those emails out to schedule a consultation. Most therapists provide a free 15-30 min consultation. It’s helpful to talk on the phone with a therapist rather than jumping into scheduling the first one you come across, because this time will allow you and the therapist to discuss if you’re a good fit for one another. Maybe you need specific support with an issue they’re not trained to treat, this is the perfect time to discuss this.

During the call, be sure to ask questions. Sometimes people get a bit shy but as a patient/client you have rights, and it’s okay to ask questions so you can make an informed decision about your care. Think about this: What do you want to know about therapy or their practice? Do you have questions about the therapeutic process? Are you wondering about their educational background or the type of treatments they provide? Perhaps it’s important to you to know that your therapist is social justice oriented and queer affirming. This call will allow you to briefly share with your potential therapist the reasons you’re seeking therapy (example: “I’ve been feeling more depressed lately and I want to figure out why.”) and you can also share your expectations (example: “I really want to work with someone that I can feel safe with and who can give me feedback.”). When I think about it, a consultation call is kind of a vibe check. Does it feel like the right fit? Listen to your gut. 

Step 6: Continue searching or schedule an intake appointment

During the consultation, you’ll have to decide one of two things. If it feels right, you can ask the therapist about their availability and schedule an intake appointment. If you have a gut feeling that it may not be the right fit or maybe you’d just like to finish consulting with the therapists on your list to weigh your options, say so. You can thank the therapist for their time and let them know you’ll be consulting with other therapists or that you’ll be in touch. It won’t hurt their feelings, we know how this works. Consultation is part of the process and therapists understand not every caller will be the right fit or will want to schedule an intake appointment.

There are nuances to every situation; however, this is the essence of finding a therapist. Before I sign off, there’s one last note I’d like to share with you. If you are seeing a therapist that doesn’t feel like the right fit for whatever reason, discuss it with them and explore your feelings and thoughts about this. You’d be surprised! Sometimes having this conversation may improve your relationship with them. After having this conversation, if you decide you’d still like to search for someone else, let them know and start your search. Ideally, your therapist should understand and support you in your desire to finding the right therapist.

I hope this was helpful. I would love to hear your thoughts. Share your comments or questions below. Thank you for reading and until next time!